Monday, January 16, 2006

Official Rules of Tub Hockey

If Magoo and Edsel are going to engage in a game of tub hockey, I decided that we needed some rules:

Official Rules of Tub Hockey

From: Feline International Tub Hockey Federation

To: All Players, Coaches and Team Owners

1. The total number of Players can not exceeded the limits set by the local jurisdictions. This includes home and visiting teams.
2. Teams will agree at the beginning of the match how many players will be participating. No illegal substitutions during the match are permitted.
3. The size of the rink will be determined by the Home team. Visiting teams will not be permitted to protest on the basis that their home rink is larger or smaller or of a different shape than the Home Teams’.
4. The size, density and material of the puck will be determined by the Home Team. Visiting Team is not permitted to substitute another puck based on their preference.
5. The Game will consist of one period of varying length. The length of the period will be determined by when one or all of the players leave the rink.
6. Returning to the rink after vacating said rink, constitutes the beginning of a new match and not a resumption of a previously completed match.
7. The intentional turning of any of the Water Taps will result in an automatic forfeiture of the current game.
8. The game maybe called by the Head Referee at anytime
9. The Head Referee may, at his or her discretion, relocate of one of the players to another rink, any goals scored in the other rink do not count towards the current match. Rule #5 is in effect.
10. FITHL has contracted with various owners of the rinks across North America, Europe, Oceania and Asia for unfettered access to the required playing surfaces. It is still at the owners’ discretion what playing times are acceptable. Any player caught arguing with the local owner will be subject to disciplinary action from the league.
11. All players agree to be bound by the CBA (Cat Bargaining Agreement) for the duration of this Tub Hockey season.
12. Any player found in violation of the CBA, will be locked out for the remainder of the Tub Hockey season.

If I have missed any that the other players deem necesary please forward them via the comments section.

Magoo's Coach, Manager, Team Owner and Rink Owner

14 comments:

  1. As a hockey mom I love this! SSS's' Mom

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  2. Will the Home team provide the pre-game meal??? -Shaggy

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  3. To answer Edsel's question, it will always be Furs versus Furs. Unless the game is against a Devon Rex, then it will be Furs versus Skins. HAHAHAHAHA.

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  4. Oh, you forgot, there needs to be an automatic Pause Of Game Without Penalty if one player feels a strong need to have an After Dinner Mint.

    You know...like Timothy Dickens describes.

    THAT kind of After Dinner Mint...

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  5. My uncle Flip is a hockey ref in Maryland. I can see if we can call on him to ref if needed. Maybe we can get on his schedule.

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  6. Are you playing for anything other than pride and bragging rights? They won't loan out the Stanley Cup, so what are you playing for. The Stinky Goodness Cup? -Shaggy

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  7. Max - don't you mean "Paws" of Game???
    i still think we should have uniforms - or at least collars with tags or somethin'. how will we know who's who??

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  8. Edsel, are you trying to say that if you can't play good, you should at least look good?

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  9. oh, that's rude! i am VERY athletic and can beat your butt, anytime, anywhere. lookin' good is just another way of bein' the best i can be

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  10. Can I team up with a nice cat like Derby and let Bonnie be a ref or coach? We don't play well together.

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  11. Will there be drug testing? Some cats may use art oficial stimu plants like catnip or Feliway. I don't want to start a scandal, but Victor uses catnip to become more fierce. Stoopid cow cat.

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  12. Dude. I'm on Ed's team. Seeing as how I came up with tub hockey! LOL!! I'm wicked good at it. I even know how to rub the porcelain right off the tub!!!

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