Tuesday, January 31, 2006

We want to know, too.

If lemonade is made with lemons and orangeade is made with oranges, what's gatorade made with?

I'm going to ask Max this one too.

Monday, January 30, 2006

We were there...

Magoo seems to snitched on me to mom and dad. I'm not admitting to anything. But if something did happen to get busted during my catnip crazies, I apologize. You have to realize that I am still little and I don't always remember all the rules. I apologize for Bella as well. It was not very lady-like to be running around, asking all the boy cats to pull her paw, and then pooting. Embarassing that is.


Friday, January 27, 2006

Dolce confronts her nemesis

View this clip on Vimeo

There is a strange cat that lives in the mirror in our front foyer. Dolce does not seem to like this cat. But she admires its moves and skill. She has finally found her true match.

If you want to see how much bigger she's gotten, check out her older video .

And now for something completely different

Hi, I'm Smudge. I'm the quiet one in the family. But I thought it was time for me have my say on this blog thingy. I know everyone loves the kitten Dolce. I mean who doesn't like kittens. But us older black cats need some attention too. Did you know that black cats are less likely to be adopted from a shelter than any other colour. And most respectable shelters stop adopting black cats around Halloween, because of some real sick s**ts out there. Oops. Sorry about that. Sometimes I let a curse slip out.

I don't really like strangers so noone really knows how strikingly handsome I am. Or how luxuriously soft my coat is. But I do love the ladies...Oh Yeah...If you are a female and you spend more than a couple of hours in the house, I will find you and you will be helpless against my charms. That's why dad calls me the Lover. My dad is the only human male that I had any extended contact with. Most of his friends are allergic. I think that's a human term for "Cat Hater", because we always get put in the basement when one of these Allergics come over.

I really have to go. Dad brought out the catnip and if I don't go now, Bella and Dolce with get it all. You probably can't hear it, but that thudding in the background is my brother Magoo walking down the hallway. He coming to check out the commotion Bella and Dolce are causing.


Dolce wanted to add something to her brother's post.

I luvs Smudgie lots. I luv his poofy tail. Unlike Magoo, he doesn't growl when I play wif it. He's the only one that plays wif me without hissing. He's the bestest brudder ever.


Wednesday, January 25, 2006

A Month Since Christmas

My mom and dad can't believe it has been a month since Christmas. Dad didn't realize it until he went to Eponine's blog. Dad decided that two things had to happen today. He would post the last two Christmas pictures for this season, and that they would be the last two pictures of me as a kitten. I've gotten bigger and more catlike. Dad mourns the loss of my kittenhood. Although I still love him lots, I can do so much on my own now. Especially get into trouble.

So it is farewell to Christmas 2005 and farewell to kittenhood. You have to excuse me now. There is a very attractive cat in the mirror on the front closet. I need to go show him or her whose boss amongst the younger cats in this house.

Monday, January 23, 2006

FITHL - Cat Bargaining Agreement

The Cat Bargaining Agreement

This document shall be referred to as the Cat Bargaining Agreement (CBA) for the Feline International Tub Hockey League (FITHL).

Salaries and Remuneration:
1. All players are to be paid a flat daily rate.
2. The daily rate is to be paid whether a game is scheduled or not.
3. Although the league does not have a salary cap, there is a minimum wage that has been agreed to. For further guidance, please review the documents provided by the law firm of Purina, Whiskas, Hills and Iams.
4. Performance Bonuses are to be paid out in the agreed to manner. There will be no arbitrary withholding of bonuses by Team Owners.
5. Performance Bonuses may be denied if said Player violates the Morality Clawses of this CBA.
6. All Salaries and Renumeration are to be paid according to the mutually agreed to schedule.
7. Team Owners caught failing to pay players according to the Payment Schedule will be required to provide additional performance bonuses.

1. All players are responsible for their own equipment.
2. Team Owners may make alterations to player equipment if deemed necessary in consultation with the Team Physician.
3. Players may not request a second opinion.

1. Each Player will be provided with one home of their choosing.
2. Players caught trying to maintain more than one home may find themselves suddenly without a Team Owner.
3. Each Player will be provided the following:
a. A sunny spot where sunlight is active for a minimum of three hours per day.Said spot shall be no smaller than two feet by two feet or four square feet in total area.
b. For those Team Owners maintaining their franchise in more northerly climates, in addition to the sunny spot, an artificial heat source must be made available to the Player.
c. A sleeping spot. This spot will be left up to the Player. Once determined, Team Owners must negotiate any movement of said sleeping spot with the Player.
4. Team Owners will provide, at a minimum, one rectangular bed whose dimensions shall not shrink during the season, resulting in Player being forced to find alternative accommodations.

1. All Players will submit willingly to the annual Medical from the Team Physician.
2. No violation of this claws will be permitted.
3. Random drug testing will be performed.
4. Use of controlled substances is permitted under Team Owner supervision only. Any cat caught self medicating will be subject to League review, and possible suspension of Performance Bonuses.

Morality Claws:
1. Destruction of Team Owner property is grounds for termination of this CBA
2. Destruction is categorizes as the
a. Misuse of bodily functions by:
i. Puking, Barking, Upchucking, (The following has been repealed :Hair Ball Spewing).
ii. Peeing, Urinating, or Marking
iii. Pooping, Crapping, Butt-Skidding, or Explosive Bowel Movements Onto
b. Or Unrequested physical alterations by:
i. Pushing, bumping or pulling from shelves,
ii. Shredding and/or tearing by either tooth or claw of
property designated by the Team Owner as expensive, priceless, hard to replace, one-of-a-kind, heirloom or otherwise attached to the current accommodations.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

We desperately need help!

We been having some issues with Magoo in the last couple of days. There has been another male cat come into our yard and he has been marking some of the trees. We let Magoo and Smudge out so that they could go and remark their territory. Magoo was getting very vocal, and he was starting to set Smudge off as well.

Well now Magoo has peed several times inside the house. My wife picked up some Feliway, which has in the past settled him down. It appeared to work, but my wife discovered that he left another present on some clothes. Normally, we would try and comfort and reassure him and find out what is happening without getting mad at him. But we have a little girl kitten in the house now. And yes, she pees every place Magoo's peed. She goes to get spayed in a couple of weeks, and I am trying to reassure my wife that should eliminate Dolce's copycat (no pun intended) peeing. We never went through this with the other cats.

We need some help on how to curb this new behaviour. My wife thinks it could also be do to the fact that Dad's been working away from the home a lot more.

The Gang

The cats over on Crews Views asked for a recap of who the cats are. And since Magoo gets really grumpy if you call him Smudge or Bella (especially Bella. It's a male cat thing), I am more than happy to accommodate.

Magoo (10 years, Maine Coone cross)

Smudge (8 years, DMH)

Bella (4 years, Torbie)

Dolce (0.4 years, Tabby)

Cleanliness is next to Kittenness

My dad was trying to work, but I decided that I needed to take my nap in his lap. Now before I have a nap, I must, like all other proper kitties, give myself a completely thorough cleaning.

I like to start with my toes. They seem to get the dirtiest, especially my little white mitts. Magoo says mom has to something called sweeping more often.

After the toes are all clean, then we can move onto the tummy.

And now, we are already to go to sleep. Which is good because all this grooming has made me one tuckered out little kitten.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A quiet thought

A Cat's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep,
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.

I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For window sills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.

I pray I’ll always stay real cool,
And keep the secret feline rule,
To NEVER tell a human that,

The world is really ruled by CATS.

Author unknown

I saw this on a rescue society's webpage and thought it was touching.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The latest in environmentally friendly accessories

There are many people out there that believe that there is nothing more luxurious than a nice fur stole to fight off the winter's chill. But there are also people out there who feel it is inhumane to kill animals for their fur.

My dad thinks he has developed an acceptable middle ground for both camps to agree on: The Live Kitty Stole. It's self cleaning and stores itself when not in use.

PS. He blocked out his face cause he was having a bad face fur day.

Tub Hockey Team Names

One of the proposed members of the Feline International Tub Hockey Federation will not ratify the constitution or rules until uniforms are picked out. So I need for all members who wish to enter a team to forward the following:

Proposed Team Name:
Proposed Logo:
Proposed Team Colours:
(Third Jersey)

Magoo, Smudge, Bella and Dolce:
Team Name: Edmonton RocketPaws
Team Logo: Large White Paw with Claws Extended Outlined in Dark Blue and Copper
Team Colours:
(Home) Dark Blue with WHite and Copper Stripes
(Away) White with Dark Blue and Copper Stripes
(Third Jersey)Dark Blue with Silver and White Stripes

Monday, January 16, 2006

Official Rules of Tub Hockey

If Magoo and Edsel are going to engage in a game of tub hockey, I decided that we needed some rules:

Official Rules of Tub Hockey

From: Feline International Tub Hockey Federation

To: All Players, Coaches and Team Owners

1. The total number of Players can not exceeded the limits set by the local jurisdictions. This includes home and visiting teams.
2. Teams will agree at the beginning of the match how many players will be participating. No illegal substitutions during the match are permitted.
3. The size of the rink will be determined by the Home team. Visiting teams will not be permitted to protest on the basis that their home rink is larger or smaller or of a different shape than the Home Teams’.
4. The size, density and material of the puck will be determined by the Home Team. Visiting Team is not permitted to substitute another puck based on their preference.
5. The Game will consist of one period of varying length. The length of the period will be determined by when one or all of the players leave the rink.
6. Returning to the rink after vacating said rink, constitutes the beginning of a new match and not a resumption of a previously completed match.
7. The intentional turning of any of the Water Taps will result in an automatic forfeiture of the current game.
8. The game maybe called by the Head Referee at anytime
9. The Head Referee may, at his or her discretion, relocate of one of the players to another rink, any goals scored in the other rink do not count towards the current match. Rule #5 is in effect.
10. FITHL has contracted with various owners of the rinks across North America, Europe, Oceania and Asia for unfettered access to the required playing surfaces. It is still at the owners’ discretion what playing times are acceptable. Any player caught arguing with the local owner will be subject to disciplinary action from the league.
11. All players agree to be bound by the CBA (Cat Bargaining Agreement) for the duration of this Tub Hockey season.
12. Any player found in violation of the CBA, will be locked out for the remainder of the Tub Hockey season.

If I have missed any that the other players deem necesary please forward them via the comments section.

Magoo's Coach, Manager, Team Owner and Rink Owner

I love my dad

I like sleeping in my kitty bed or in the chair or on the big bed, but where I like to sleep best is on my dad. This is picture of me when I first came home and dad was spending time with me. Mom says we bonded. I just like sleeping on top of him.

I really missed him when he was gone, and I made up for it on Saturday. They went to a hockey game and didn't get home until late.(The Oilers really need a goalie. Maybe one of our friends who offered to play goalie for the Tub Hockey League would do a better job.) So I didn't want to eat when they got home; I just wanted to run and play. I woke him up, however, for a 4:30am snack. Afterwards, I came to bed and then fell asleep on his throat. Dad says it was hard to sleep with a 3 lb kitten purring like a chainsaw on your neck. He knows exactly how much I weigh because I went to the Vet and got my rabies stabby shot, and they weighed me. I have put on a whole pound since my last visit.

I also found out that my foster dads have taken in another batch of kittens to look after until they find their forever homes. They said they couldn't believe how big I was getting and they appreciated getting pictures of me. What can I say, I'm a Cutie!!!

My favourite toy

Up until mom and dad brought up the cat tree for me to play with this was my favourite toy. It is a inclined cat scratcher with a dangling toy inside. I liked it a lot because I could fit right inside and play with the toy and none of the other cats could. This was good since none of the cats liked to play with me at first. Now me, Smudge and Bella play together and chase each other all over the house. Magoo still does not like to and he still hisses at me if I get too close. So Edsel, I know how you feel about having a sibling that does not like you. But then Magoo doesn't really like anyone but Mom and Dad.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Wild Bunnies

Last summer our parents took out their trailer for a holiday. They went through the mountains into place called British Columbia and then back into Alberta. Dad took this at a campsite in Canmore, AB. He says that there were a whole family of baby bunnies at the campsite that had become feral. he talked to one of the seasonal campers there and they said that someone had either left the original bunnies there or they had escaped from a family who was travelling with them. To the locals, the bunnies were a nuisance, but mom and dad thought they were adorable. This bunny would come within feet of them and seemed to love broccoli. So they nicknamed him or her Broccoli for the two days they stayed in Canmore.

Dad apologizes for the size of the picture, he didn't realize how big it was when he uploaded it.

Growing Up Way Too Fast

My dad had to travel on business last week, so I did not get to see him at all. He was somewhat sad when he got home and saw me. He said that I had gotten big on him. I told him that I was a big kitty now. I showed him how fast I could run and how my brother Smudge and I played together. I also showed him that my purrer still works really well as I purred for about three hours nonstop.

This is me sitting on top of my little cat tree. It is similar to the one that William got. My Dad says I am quite the poser for the camera when I want to be. He is trying to get me to sit still so he can get some more up to date photos.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Our Dad tells stories

Our dad is starting to write down the stories he tells us before we go to sleep. He started to tell them to the Smudge as a kitten while they hung out together on the couch. He then told them to Bella and now he tells them to all of us. Magoo doesn't like to hear them. He always turns away and says that he has something in his eye when he listens. I like them. I think Little One is supposed to be me. Smudge says that is impossible since he was hearing the stories long before I came along and besides, Little One is a black kitten like him.

The Darkening Road

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

How to scare your co-dependants to death

During our last visit to the Vet, our mom and dad decided that instead of locking us all into our cat carriers, they would put up a kennel gate between the front and back seats of dad's crew cab truck. They thought being able to move around and lay down where we wanted would make things less stressful on us. Smudge loves it. This way, he finds a small hollow and curls up quietly for the trip after voicing his initial displeasure for a couple of minutes. Magoo sits behind Dad and caterwauls for the entire trip at the top of his lungs. I like to check out everything and look out every window, climb on the kennel gate and bat my dad through the rungs. One thing my dad did not factor on was that I would figure out how to roll down the window with the power window switch. So here we are going down the freeway at 100 kph (60 m.p.h), when the window in front of me starts rolling down. My Mom screams. My dad says some very bad words (two bars of soap bad) and frantically tries to lock the windows. He then mistakenly pushes the window switch down instead of up (GM changed their window switches this model year). So here we are blasting down the freeway, the window is three-quarters of the way down, the wind is blowing through my fur, Mom and Dad are screaming, and Magoo is coming over to investigate. Dad finally rolls up the window and makes a comment that his heart will restart sooner or later. And that is how you scare your co-dependants to death.


Was Yesterday a Crappy Day for Everyone

I was reading several of yesterday's posts from our other blogging friends and I detected a disturbing trend. Quite a few had to do with kitty and their poop problems. So I was wondering was everyone just having a crappy day: Edsel's sister had to get a butt bath, Jasper McKitten Cat picked up an unwanted gift from his sister Maggie.

Magoo and Bella seem to have the most problems of our cats with dingleberries sticking to their fur. Unfortunately, it is a common sight to see Bella sashaying down the hallway with a butt nugget hanging from her fur. Magoo tend to be clean most of the time, but he did have an episode where he had a substantial piece stuck in his fur. He tried to clean himself, but ended up with the nugget stuck to the fur on his chin. My wife told me that he was sitting there on the bed with this piece of poo stuck to his lip and he was absolutely disgusted. She quickly removed it for him. She laughingly told me that Magoo sat and sulked about his predicament for a couple of minutes. Sometimes there are benefits in not having to bathe yourself with your tongue.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Reigning Queen of the Mouse Hunt

Regardless of what Dad says about Dolce being the hunter of the the foursome, I have been killing fuzzy mice long before she showed up. Sure I stalked this mouse for about ten minutes before I killed it, but I killed it nonetheless. (Bella actually cheats. She pulls the mouse down and then bites through the elastic string. She has done this with every dangley toy we have bought for the furbabies.) As for Tub Hockey, I am still the reigning champ in this household. Nobody can fling a tub stopper as far as I can.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Age before Beauty

Like the saying goes "Age before beauty." Since Magoo went on a tirade, Dad decided that it was time for Beauty to take the center stage. He calls me his Thinker. It's because I don't ever seem to just do something. I always appear to be weighing my choices before I act. I love to sit on my mom's lap while she puts on her makeup in the morning. I also stand guard at the refridgerator door in morning to make sure I get my morning saucer of Catmilk. I have such a tiny meow that Dad makes fun of me when I try voice my displeasure.

There are other cats in the house

Now don't get me wrong. I like meeting all the cats that are out there blogging, but having that camera in my face twenty four hours a day is really starting to tick me off. I mean, I can't even enjoy a quick nap on my patio without Dad snapping a picture. Sure this picture was taken this summer, but it still fits my mood of the day.

Go find one of the others to bother. Like the kitten. She seems to love posing for your stupid camera. Or how about Bella, you have not bothered her in a bit. I know I'm gorgeous and now so do most of my fellow bloggers. So go and pick on someone else. Or you and/or your camera will meet the Fast and Furious Paw of Death.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Paw of Death

My dad says I have huge mitts for a cat. Maybe compared to my brother and sisters, I do. But I don't think so. And they are not "mitts", they are to be referrred to as the "Paws of Death"

Dad says I have to tell all of my friends that he take's a men's large when he buys gloves. I don't know if he's bragging or trying to tell me something.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Much Ado About Nothing

I made the mistake of insinuating to Edsel the Pooch that Canadian Cats would be be much better at Tub Hockey than their American Cousins. It almost denigrated into a flame war. But I wanted Edsel to know that I was just goofing around. Also we can keep our verbal sparring going here without clogging up comments on other posts.

Also, I wanted to allow other cats to put their two cents in. Just remeber, keep it fun people.

A cat's life

I decided that I want the life that my cats have. Just look at these three having a snooze.

You sleep when you're tired. You eat when you're hungry. You play when you feel frisky. Work is a four letter word which is really limited to getting that piece of sticky litter out of your paw.

Now that you see the original three together on the bed, you can guess why my wife is itching for a king-sized bed.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Dolce's Sisters

When we went to look at Dolce (then called Samantha), we got to meet her mom and her three sisters. When we talked to Dolce's dads, they said that her mother had showed up on their doorstep and had decided that this is where she wanted to live and give birth to her babies. Dolce looks like her mother but we don't know what the father looks like. But look at her three sisters and see if you can guess what colour the father was...

And finally, this is the picture that won our hearts...

2006/01/08: Update of Dolce's Sisters...We checked out the link to NASAP, and found out that all three have been adopted. Dolce's dads have decided to keep her mom, and are having her spayed.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Our Work-In-Progress could be Our Hunter

View this clip on Vimeo

Not even twelve weeks old, and Dolce is showing off her ability to stalk and kill a poor defenseless fuzzy mouse. The best part of this video is her reaction when Bella shows up unexpectedly.

Do cat's giggle?

Dolce has taken up sleeping with us. When you factor in that there are already three good sized cats sharing the bed, it's getting a little crowded. Usually it works out on average to 2.5 cats, since Bella and Magoo don't always like to share the bed. They both like the same spot on my wife's feet.

Several nights ago, I was sleeping quite lightly and woke up briefly. Dolce was sleeping stretched out between my wife and I. Now she gurbles at the best of times while she sleeps. But I swear that she let out a gurble that sounded exactly like someone chuckling. You know how a person laughs to themselves. That's exactly what she did. I told my wife about it in the morning and she didn't really believe me. Well Dolce did it again and this time my wife heard her. It is the funniest thing. At least she has one redeeming quality...Did I mention that she doesn't hiss but spits instead. We have it on video which I will have to post.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Toilet Diving

The new kitten is shaping up to be like her oldest brother. She has entered the competitive world of Toilet Diving.

Now Magoo did his at the same age and quickly gave up the sport. We are hoping that this is Dolce' one and only dabble in the sport. Magoo used to drink from the tap when we lived in an apartment while I brushed my teeth. Since water was included in our rent, we didn't think too much about leaving it drip slightly for him. So his routine was every morning he would hop onto the closed toilet lid, then onto the counter and then have his drink of water. One morning, I failed to lower the lid afterwards. I could keep typing about what happened but it's better from his point of view.

To get water from the the drippy thing, you do the following:
1. You jump up
2. You count One One Thousand, two One Thousand
3. You land on the hard stinky thing
4. You jump up
5. You count One One Thousand, two One Thousand
6. You land on the counter
7. You get a drink from the drippy thing

What actually happened:
1. I jumped up
2. I counted One One Thousand, two One Thousand, Three One Thousand
3. I did not land on the hard stinky thing
4. I counted four one thousand
5. I said "WTF!"
6. I stretched out my paws as far as I could
7. I splashed into the stinky thing and got my fur all wet. (Thank god, he flushed)
8. I listened to the big idiot as he laughed
9. I added this indignity to the reasons why I chew on his toothbrush when he's not home

A new year begins

After much entertaining with friends and family, I have finally made it back to the computer. I wasn't sure which topic should start the new year. Should it be funny? Should it be sad? Should it be full of remembrance? Or should it look forward in to waht the new year might bring?

I decided to roll the wheel of time backwards. Ten years back in fact. We had just adopted (purchased) our first cat Magoo. Previously, I mentioned how I was attracted to his spunk as he pulled the toys from the rack in a pet store. Now I want to show you what sold my wife.

Now my wife has this thing about entering every contest at every booth at trade shows and fairs. So for at least six months afterwards we are plagued by telemarketers asking when they can send some one to clean our furnance/carpets or mow our lawn or install that fireplace we were thinking about buying. Shortly after we got Magoo, we got a phone call saying that we ahd won a free portrait siting and a 5x7 picture. Neither my wife or I wanted our picture take so we asked if they would do a kitten sitting. They said sure and this picture is the result. We still look at it after ten years and gush at what a cute kitten he was.