Scooter McTabby's Detective Agency

Dad: Dolce and I had to put our heads together to get this installment of Scooter McTabby done. To be honest, I don't think Dolce did much thinking when we were putting our heads together, she just loves to give headbutts.
Dolce: And you love getting them, so it all works out. Are you ready to tell some more of the story?
Dad: Yes. Are you ready for your friends?
Dolce: Yes. I have Hot Catmilk or Catnip Tea to drink, Leafy Goodness, and Catnip and Ham Sandwiches.Do you think everyone will come?
Dad: I don't know if everyone will come. But we will have fun with those who do.
Dolce: Sounds good. Purrs.
Dad: Dolce, I know you love me but I can't tell the story if you insist on sticking your tail in my mouth. Now where was I? Oh yes. Scooter McTabby was rushing to the sunroom to tell the other cats of the Big Grey House about his exciting idea.

Scooter trotted into the sunroom of the Big Grey House. His twin peaked cap was still balanced on his head. He was certain that the other cats would be excited as well as all cats looked forward to a good adventure. Scooter’s hopes were dashed as soon as the two young Siamese cats Hunan and Szechwan saw him enter.

“What is that on your head?” Hunan sneered as she circled to Scooter’s left side.

“It looks like something died on his head.” Szechwan added as he curled to Scooter’s right side.

“Leave me alone. “ Scooter tried to maintain the pride and dignity he felt when he first saw the hat on his head in the bathroom. “I have important business that you two wouldn’t understand.”

“Why wouldn’t we understand Sccoter?” Hunan teased. “Aren’t we as smart as you?”

“I think you are as smart.” Scooter tried to explain, “But I think that you spend to much time with Treadmore and not enough with the other cats of the house.”

“So now you don’t like Prince Treadmore the Third as well.” Szechwan added. “You are quite the snob aren’t you Scooter?”

“I’m not a snob.” Scooter was getting flustered. “I’m done with you two. Go tell Prince Treadmont what ever you want. I have some news for the other cats of the house. If you feel yourselves above what I have to say then you can just leave.’

“Whatever you say, Scooter.” Hunan smiled.

“Whatever.” Szechwan added as the two Siamese slinked out of the sunroom.

Scooter adjusted his cap. He was certain that the exchange with the two Siamese cats had altered its position on his head. He looked across the sunroom and saw the other cats of the Big Grey House.

On the largest couch in the sunroom reclined the oldest resident of the Big Grey House, Miss Marbles. She had been in the house for more than seventeen summers. She was the one who welcomed each newcomer into the house. She understood the caring nature of the Mom and Dad Beans best of all and was the one all the cats trusted. Lying close to her, but without touching was the next longest resident of the house, Richard the Lionheart. He was a large grey long haired cat of no special lineage. If Miss Marbles was the female head of the house, then Richard was the male head of the house. Although he had been pushed and challenged by Prince Treadmont and Dartmore, he had remained the alpha male of the house for more than ten years. Scooter had gone to him for advice several times over Scooter’s three years in the house. Never once had Richard’s advice lead Scooter astray.

Scooter saw the long lithe form of Skids stretched out in one of the many sunbeam spots in the room. Skids was a former street cat, a stray, that had shown up at the Big Grey House one day in the arms of the Mom Bean. Scooter always thought he seemed nice enough, but Scooter always counted his catnip mice once Skids left the room. Scooter notice the clean and proper form of one of his idols in the house, Alastair Cunningworth. Alastair was an impeccably groomed tuxedo cat who seemed to exude feline grace and style. He was one of the most friendly cats in the Big Grey House. Alastair always seemed to have a story or anecdote about everything.

Across the room, there was the form of an enormous ginger tabby cat laying on its back with all four paws curled in the air in front of its body as he enjoyed the sunshine. Scooter shook his head at Dartmore’s lack of feline graces. There was a running joke that he had more in common with the three Corgis of the house then the rest of the cats. Scooter looked up towards the wicker plant shelf and saw the bluish grey form of Prince Treadmont the Third. He was a British Short Hair of championship lines or so he said. Of all the cats in the Big Grey House, Treadmont was the only cat that could say he held pedigree papers, and he held that over all the rest of the cats, as though that mattered in the Big Grey House.

Scooter’s eyes found the slight form of the one cat that he would call a true friend in the Big Grey House. She was a slight framed long haired calico who was only six months younger than Scooter. As Scooter entered the room, Whatley Purrgood’s head perked up and she stared directly at Scooter. Whatley stood up and gave a quick stretch.

“What’s with the hat?” Skids stirred from his nap.

“Cats of the Big Grey House.” Scooter tired to sound very official and authoritative. “There is something afoot.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Dartmore countered as he rolled onto his stomach. “Something is either a foot or it is not a foot.”

Scooter tried to not get flustered. He was very excited about his new venture and he desperately wanted to share that excitement with the other cats.

“There is some dastardly event occurring somewhere in the house.” Scooter replied, as he tried to regain control of his announcement.

“And it is a foot?” Prince Treadmont piped up from his vantage point.

“No.” Scooter replied. “It is not a foot.”

“Then why did you say it is a foot.” Prince Treadmont dropped to floor and sauntered over to right in front of Scooter. “Did you mean that something is a Paw or maybe a Hand?”

Prince Treadmont snickered and then changed his tone to a sneer “Or are you just a confused little mog?”

“Leave Scooter alone.” Whatley Purrgood moved to Scooter’s side. “Dad Bean was reading us a detective story last night. Scooter said that it would be cool to be a detective. But you wouldn’t know anything about lounging with Mom or Dad Bean last night would you. That would be beneath you, wouldn’t it, Treadmont?”

“Ah, Scooter.” Prince Treadmont said snidely, “I see your protector has rushed to your side once again. I would have thought that by now you would be able to stand on your own.”

Scooter could hear Dartmore and Skids snickering under their paws. He had to say something to counter Treadmont.

“The role of detective is a time honoured profession.” Scooter replied, “But then again someone who has rested on his family’s laurels would know nothing about that.”

Dartmore and Skids perked up. They both knew that although Prince Treadmont was from championship lines he was considered ineligible as a Showcat, and this was a sore point for him.

“Little, little mog.” Prince Treadmont slowly and purposefully stalked towards Scooter. “You need to be more careful when you start criticizing your betters in this house.”

Prince Treadmont walked within inches of Scooter. He suddenly hissed and caused Scooter to jump almost a foot straight sideways. Scooter found himself dangerously close to Whatley.

“Nice reflexes.” Prince Treadmont sneered. ”But I’m pretty sure that most famous detectives don’t hide behind their girlfriends.”

Scooter watched as Treadmont left the sunroom. He still had some important news for the other cats of the Big Grey House.

“Now that Treadmont has left, I want to share some important news.” Scooter declared, trying to give his news an air of urgency and importance.

All the cats perked up and looked in Scooter’s direction.

“I have decided to form the Scooter McTabby Detective Agency and All Round Adventure Company.” Scooter declared. “So if any of you have an unsolved mystery you need solved or a proposed adventure that you need a hearty leader for, I am your cat. But I will need a sidekick.”

“If you try to kick me, I’ll box your ears.” Dartmore countered threateningly. “Side or front kick. I don’t care.”

“No.”: Scooter replied. “I didn’t mean I was going to kick anyone.”

“So why did you start threatening everyone with sidekicks.” Skids asked.

“I wasn’t threatening anyone.” Scooter pleaded. Sometimes the other cats could be very hard to converse with.

“I’ll be your sidekick.” Whatley Purrgood stated. “I think it will be fun. Especially if it is anything like the Dad Bean’s stories.”

“Good.” Skids replied. “Now you can leave the rest of us alone and not bother us with your silly ideas.”

“Amen to that.” Dartmore added.

“Let Scooter speak.” Richard the Lionheart interrupted Dartmore and Skids’ teasing. “Scooter, what does this company of yours propose to do?”

“If something is lost or stolen, we shall endeavor to find it.” Scooter tried to be brave. Deep down, he had to admit that Richard scared the poo out of him. “If there is an adventure that none will undertake, we will rise to the challenge.”

“Very good.” Richard inclined his head approvingly. “It sounds like the house is in good hands.”

“I just wanted to announce my services.” Scooter found himself almost bowing to Richard. Scooter found this very strange for a cat.

“I hope they are never needed. Scooter.” Richard replied. “But I will sleep better knowing that you are on the case. So to speak.”

Scooter felt very proud at that moment. He was now in charge of the foremost detective agency in the Big Grey House. It was the only detective agency in the Big Grey House, but that did not matter to Scooter. He just had to wait and be patient. Sooner or later, there would be something that needed investigating or adventuring.

The sudden appearance of the youngest cat in the Big Grey House signaled Scooter that his detective agency was in business. Persephone, a tiny silver spotted tabby, was all out of breath as she burst into the sunroom.

“They’re all gone!” Persephone cried. “All of them!”

In that instant, Scooter saw his dream realized. He gave his peaked cap a slight straightening and he nodded to Whatley. Scooter McTabby’s Detective Agency and Adventure Company was officially in business.