Sock Hamper Chat

Under the cover of night, two troublemaking cats meet. One to purvey wisdom and knowledge. One to learn mischief and stuff.

Baci: Ouch! Dolce!
Dolce(pouncing on Baci): Don't be such a wuss.
Baci(rolling onto his back): You play too rough!
Dolce: No, I don't.
Baci: Yes you do.
Dolce: If Dad knew what a wimp you are, he send you right back.
Baci(swatting at Dolce's outstretched paw): No, He wouldn't.
Dolce(Batting at Baci's head with her paw): Yes he would.
Baci(springing to his paws): You take that back!
Dolce: Baci's going away! Baci's going away!
Baci (pouncing on Dolce): Stop saying that!
Dolce(rolling onto her back): You play too rough!
Baci: No, I don't.
Dolce: Yes you do.
Baci: If Dad knew what a wimp you are, he send you right back.
Dolce(swatting at Baci's outstretched paw): No, He wouldn't.
Baci(Batting at Dolce's head with his paw): Yes he would.
Dolce(springing to her paws): You take that back!
Baci: Dolce's going away! Dolce's going away!
Dolce (pouts and turns away): I'm not playing anymore.
Baci: I'm sorry.
Dolce: Good. (Gives Baci a swat to the head and takes off down the hallway.)
Baci: DOLCE! (Takes off after Dolce.)

Baci (sees Dolce looking at a mesh laundry hamper): What are you doing?
Dolce: Baci. I know you are young so I am going to teach you about one of the greatest things in the house.
Baci: Is is better than Catmilk? Better than Stinky Goodness? Better than fuzzy mice? (pauses and takes a deep breath) Better than even Catnip?
Dolce: Depending on how fresh they are, they can be better than Catnip. I know it is hard to believe. But it's true.
Baci: I think you are just teasing me.
Dolce: No. I'm being totally serious. I swear on the Fuzzy Mice.
Baci (watches Dolce jump into the hamper and come out with a sock): What is that?
Dolce: This is one of Dad's socks. (she sniffs it.) And it's a good one. Mom hasn't done his wash from his last Busy Ness trip. Smell it.
Baci: Ewww! That's gross!
Dolce watches Baci as his expression changes.
Baci (sniffs the sock even more): But it's somewhat alluring. Almost intoxicating. Makes my paws all twitchy.
Dolce: Exactly. Magoo, Bella and Smudge thought I was crazy. But these socks are the bestest thing ever. You have to be careful though. Sometimes, if you wait too long, Mom makes them smell all clean and flowery.
Baci(rolling around and over the dirty sock): Why would she do such a thing? It's purrfect the way it is.
Dolce: I know, Baci. Who can figure out Beans? I don't want to scare you, but have you ever see them wash themselves? I've been here over a year and I have not seen Dad or Mom lick themselves clean once. (Dolce shivers) It's just gross, I tell you.
Dolce watches Baci play with the sock.
Dolce: No. No. No. You are doing it wrong. Let me show you.

Dolce digs another sock out of the hamper. She tosses it into the air and pounces on it. She picks it up with paws and waves and twists it in the air in front of her.


Dolce: See. You have fling it and twist it and shake it really hard.
Baci (imitates his sister): Like this.
Dolce: Yes! Just like that! Now you also have to tell the sock who's boss. Otherwise, the Socks won't play with you properly. So you have to yell at it. Like so... YEeOoWwRrOoOoOoWwRrRr! RrOoWwWwRr! MmEeEeEeEeRrRrRrOoOoOoOoWw!
Baci: Oh. yeowrowr. rowr. meerrow.
Dolce: Right idea. But your tone is off and you are being too nice to the Sock. You need to pounce and tug and growl and show the Sock that it is powerless before you. YyEeEeRrRrRrOoOoOoWwWwRr! MmEeEeEeRrRrOoOoOoOoWwWwRr!
Baci: Got it! Yeerroowr! Meerroowr!
Dolce: You're getting there. You just need to practise.
Baci (headbuting Dolce gently): You are the bestest sister ever.
Dolce: I know. (Gives Baci a swat to the head and takes off down the hallway.)
Baci: DOLCE!