Letters to the Cats

It has been far too long since I have posted anything here. The problem with blogging is that there is a fine line between describing every bowel movement of every single cat in the house and stories of major events and happenings from your pets perspective. I got lost trying to find a happy medium. That, and trying to get our stories ready for the new book.

I could try to recap what the furmonster have been up do in minute detail, but instead I will infer what has been happening and let your own imagination paint the picture...


Dear Magoo;

We understand that you are no longer pleased with the arrangements in the household. We feel somewhat bad that you and Baci do not see eye to eye on most issues. I say somewhat, because we feel that you cause at least half of the problems by hissing and growling whenever he is within five feet of you.

Also, peeing all over the fireplace and forcing your Mom and Dad to replace the fireplace facade does not put you into the most innocent status in this affair.

Love,

Dad.

PS. The bed is only so big; kicking me can only move me over so far. Even if it is in the most tender of places.


Dearest Bella;

Although you are the quietest member of the household, you seem to be the one of our biggest challenges. The fence around our yard is a barrier. One that you are not supposed to cross. When you cross it, I have to go looking for you. I am trying to protect you from all the crap in the Crazy Lady's yard. You know it is wrong because you immediately run to the back door when you are caught. There are times I wish you were a teenaged human girl so that I could pull an "Uncle Buck" on you. Maybe then you would listen to me.

Love,

Dad

Dear Dolce;

No more booty calls to Baci at 3:00am! Nuff said!

Love,

Dad.

Dear Baci;

We all understand that you are growing up. We understand that you think that Dolce is your girlfriend (Scout might challenge you on that point.) Please stop picking fights with Magoo every time you see him. There is enough love in this house for every one. Also, Dolce asked me to tell you that is okay for you to reciprocate and lick her head from time to time. It is very selfish to demand to be groomed all the time and never groom back.

Love,

Dad.

PS: What did you eat! Warn me next time! I had my mouth open and everything!